SIBLING RIVALRY; Part two : Parent's position.

'' I wish i were an only child!''
'' You love Susan more than me!''
'' How come Stephen gets his way all the time?''
'' Why do i always have to do all the chores?''

As a parent, such statements when pronounced by your kids can pierce your heart; knowing that you sincerely want the best for them.

Do you know that sibling rivalry has existed as far back as the biblical times? Even Joseph's brothers sat to plan against him. What about Cain and Abel? As upsetting as it can be for a parent, conflicts between siblings is common.

The role of a parent is very critical in ensuring that love is practised and the children are treated equally.

                                           Photo credit : empoweringparents.com

The first step is to understand the major reason for rivalry.

• Children want attention from you and become competitive when they have other siblings: It is only natural that the child that was once pampered and showered with attention will feel jealous if a new born baby is shown the same attention. 
• Position in the family:The oldest child may become burdened with responsibilities for his younger siblings. At times the parent may hold him responsible if she/he fails to meet up to expectations. She/he may be punished, grounded or insulted. This could lead to a gradual growth of hatred in his heart towards the younger ones.
• Age gap: A four and Seven year old may play with toys together but may later grow apart in their teen years.
• Children who are hungry, bored or tired are more likely to start fights
• Unique personalities: Your oldest child could be witty, headstrong and extroverted, while his younger sibling could be quieter and more introverted.

As a second plan, parents should adhere to the following rules

• Don't have favourites: Ensure you treat each child the same way you would treat the other. 
• Never compare your kids grades, outspokenness, hygiene etc
• Set aside an 'alone time' with each kid. : Every parent should know his/her kid. Once in a while, try to ask them personal questions and know what they are going through.
• Arrange family games or trips that would make your kids corporate with each other
• Listen
• Be fair in resolving conflicts.